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Long-distance letter ideas.

Twenty-five things to put in a letter to a long-distance girlfriend or boyfriend, a cadence that keeps the chain going, and how to make the first one count.

By Chris, NotAText · Updated October 15, 2026 · 3 min read

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You text all day, so the letter cannot be news. It has to be the things that do not fit in a text: the ordinary detail, the thing you noticed on the call, the question that keeps the chain going.

How often

One a week is the gold standard. One every two weeks still works. The trick is that the letter should be short enough to write in ten minutes, so it actually happens. A three-paragraph letter every Sunday beats a four-page letter once.

What to write

The ordinary

  1. One thing from your week that she would not get from a text. The guy at work. What you cooked. What broke.
  2. The weather, if it did something.
  3. What you are reading, watching, or listening to, and the one line that made you think of her.
  4. What the dog did.
  5. A thing you fixed, or failed to fix.

The noticed

  1. Something she said on the last call that you did not respond to at the time.
  2. The moment on the call when she sounded tired, or happy, or like she was not saying something.
  3. A thing she is worried about, and one sentence of what you think.
  4. Something she is good at that you watched her do from a distance.

The countdown

  1. Days until you see each other. Just the number.
  2. One plan for the visit, however small. The taco place. Nothing all Saturday.
  3. One thing you want to do that you have never done together.
  4. What the first ten minutes will be like.

The question

  1. "What's one thing you miss that you haven't told me?"
  2. "What was the best part of your Tuesday?"
  3. "What are you not telling me on the phone?"
  4. "If I showed up tomorrow, what would we do first?"
  5. "What should I put in the next one?"

The keepable

  1. The story of how you met, from your side, with the detail she has not heard.
  2. A memory from before you were together.
  3. Something you are looking forward to about ordinary life together.
  4. Why the distance is worth it. Once. Not every letter.

The extras

  1. A drawing. The pen at NotAText traces pictures in outline: a map with a star on her town, your view, the dog.
  2. A set of open-when letters for the hard weeks.
  3. A letter to arrive the day after a visit, mailed before you leave.

The first letter

Keep it short and admit it is the first one. "I've never done this. Here's what you missed this week." Then one thing, one noticed thing, the countdown, and a question. Sign it. The second letter is easier because she will have written back.

Example

Jess, It rained here Tuesday, the sideways kind, and I stood under the awning at the shop for ten minutes thinking about how you'd have run straight through it. On the call Sunday you said "it's fine" about your mom and it wasn't fine. You don't have to tell me on the phone. You can tell me here. Forty-one days. I'm taking the Friday off. The taco place and then nothing, all weekend. What's the one thing you miss that you haven't told me yet? Danny

Making it actually happen

The reason long-distance letters stop is stamps, envelopes and the post office. Type it on your phone at NotAText instead: a real ballpoint pen writes it, we seal it and stamp it and mail it from Abilene, Texas within two business days, postage included. Long-distance letters.

Questions

How long should a long-distance letter be?

Three or four short paragraphs. Half a page. Long enough to keep, short enough to write every week.

Should I tell her I’m sending one?

No. The envelope showing up is the best part. Tell her after the first one that there will be more.

What if she doesn’t write back?

Keep sending. Some people read letters and answer on the phone. The question at the end gives her an easy way in.

Write it tonight. She keeps it for years.Type it on your phone. A real pen writes it. We mail it from Abilene, Texas.
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