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What to write in a love letter.

Stuck on the blank page? Thirty specific things to put in a love letter to your girlfriend or wife, sorted by what you are trying to say, with lines you can adapt.

By Chris, NotAText · Updated October 15, 2026 · 2 min read

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You do not need thirty of these. You need two or three. Pick the ones that are true, write them in your own words, and stop. The shape for putting them together is in how to write a love letter.

If you want her to feel seen

  1. The thing she does when she thinks nobody is watching.
  2. The way she handles a person who is being difficult.
  3. Something she is good at that she does not think is a big deal.
  4. How she says a particular word.
  5. What she does first thing in the morning, and why you like it.
  6. The thing she worried about that turned out fine, and how she handled the worrying.

If you want her to know what you remember

  1. What she was wearing the first time you saw her. (Only if you actually remember.)
  2. The first thing she said that made you laugh.
  3. A moment from a bad day that she made better.
  4. The drive, the airport, the hospital hallway: the place where you knew.
  5. Something she said once in passing that you have thought about since.
  6. A moment you were proud of her and did not say so.

If you want to say thank you

  1. One specific thing she did this month.
  2. Something she puts up with.
  3. The way she talks to your family.
  4. A habit of hers that has made you better.
  5. The thing she did when you were sick, or broke, or wrong.

If you want to say what is next

  1. The trip you keep saying you will take. Give it a month.
  2. The next ordinary Saturday, and what you want it to look like.
  3. Something you want to learn to do for her.
  4. A thing you want to stop doing. (One.)
  5. The version of old age you picture with her.

If it is an apology

  1. Exactly what you did. One sentence.
  2. What it did to her. One sentence.
  3. What changes. One sentence.

Do not add a fourth. See apology letter examples.

If you have no reason at all

  1. Where you were when you thought of her today.
  2. The thing you would text her but it would sound weird as a text.
  3. The small thing that made you think of her: a song, a smell, a dog that looked like hers.
  4. "No reason. Thought about you. That's it."
  5. Her name, one sentence, your name. Mail it.

Things not to write

  • A quote from someone else.
  • A list of her qualities. ("You are kind, smart, beautiful…")
  • "You complete me," "my other half," "my everything." She has read those on a mug.
  • Anything that needs an answer. A love letter is not a question.
  • Your side of an argument.

Then put it on paper

Type it on your phone at NotAText. A real ballpoint pen writes it in the handwriting you pick, and we seal it, stamp it and mail it from Abilene, Texas, postage included. Handwritten love letters.

Questions

How many of these should I use?

Two or three. One moment, one thing you notice, one thing you want next. A letter that tries to say everything says nothing.

What if she’s not a “words” person?

Then make it short and specific. A three-sentence letter in an envelope works on people who roll their eyes at long ones.

Can I write a love letter to a man with this list?

Yes. Every item on it works both directions.

Write it tonight. She keeps it for years.Type it on your phone. A real pen writes it. We mail it from Abilene, Texas.
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