How to write a love letter.

A love letter is not a poem and it is not a greeting card. It is one person telling another person a true thing they would not say out loud. If you can text, you can write one. Here is the method.

The short answer

Write five short paragraphs: her name and one line about why you are writing; one specific moment you keep thinking about; one thing about her that nobody else notices; what you want the two of you to have next; and a sign-off that sounds like you. Keep it to one page. Read it out loud once. If it sounds like you talking, it is done.

Step 1: Start with her name and one honest line

"Dear" is fine but you do not have to use it. Her name, a comma, and then the reason you sat down. "I've been meaning to write this for a year." "No reason. I was thinking about you." "I'm bad at saying this out loud, so here it is on paper." That line does more work than any opening you will find in a list of romantic quotes. More in how to start a love letter.

Step 2: One moment, in detail

Not "all the great times we've had." One. The gas station, the power outage, the time she fell asleep in the truck. Say where you were, what she did, and what you thought at the time. The detail is what makes the letter impossible to have been written to anyone else, and that is the whole point of the letter.

Step 3: One thing you notice that nobody else does

The way she hums in the car. The way she handles her mother. The fact that she always lets the dog out before she gets her own coffee. You are telling her she is seen. This is the paragraph women quote back years later.

Step 4: What you want next

Not a proposal, unless it is. The coast road she keeps talking about. A Saturday with no plans. Thirty more years of the boring stuff. This paragraph turns the letter from a memory into a promise.

Step 5: Sign it like a person

"Love, Chris" works. So does "Yours." So does just your name. Do not sign something you would never say. More in how to end a love letter.

Rules that make it better

• Short beats long. One page. A Half Letter is plenty.
• Specific beats grand. "The way you say 'well' before bad news" beats "you are my everything."
• No quotes. If you need Shakespeare, you are not done thinking yet.
• No list of her qualities. That is a performance review.
• Read it out loud. Anything that makes you cringe out loud will make her cringe on paper.

Full example

Handwritten or typed?

Handwritten. A love letter in an email or a Notes app is a message; on paper it is an object she keeps. If your handwriting is the problem, type it at NotAText and a real ballpoint pen writes it in one of 57 real hands, then we seal it, stamp it and mail it. See handwritten love letters.